DAMN NEAR ON EMPTY

VERSE I
I have a huge problem askin’ other people for help
so I end up tryin’ to take on everything by myself
feel like the world’s against me, hope it’s just in my head
grippin’ the rope of sanity, but hangin’ on by a thread
and if my body is a vehicle for my soul
feel like I can’t make the payments, ‘bout to be repoed
and my tires are worn, interior’s torn
so when my lease is up, I’m afraid that I’ll owe more
that I’m worth and it hurts, could be a curse
so I repel the hella negativity through verse
‘bout outta gas, but I can’t stop
cruisin’ in neutral with the A/C off
sweat’s pourin’ in this Texas heat – could be a flood
made need a pull if I get stuck in the mud
weavin’ in and out of life’s lanes, swervin’ at times
if I get pulled over, sure as hell ain’t walkin’ the line

CHORUS

VERSE II
I usually roll with the punches, but my inspection is out
my engine needs a tune-up, gotta take another route
feelin’ broke down, slowly coastin’ ‘round town
even catch myself complain’ – “your system’s too loud”
I should shut my mouth – feelin’ lost because
I sure as hell ain’t the man that I used to was
’08 was rough – it overflowed to ‘09
to my surprise, multiple medical problems arised
had a headache for 8 months, finally broke down
went to see the doc to get it checked out
probably from stress – maybe from anxiety
did a scan anyways to put my mind at ease
unexpectedly found a lesion on my lobe
referred me to a surgeon, nerves are about to explode
is it AIDS or a tumor – is it plaque from MS?
is it cancer…that’s spread from somewhere else?
MRIs, blood work, co-pays, and consultations
deductibles, yeah, losin’ patience as a patient
not to mention the spinal tap and its side effects
feelin’ like a pin cushion – depressed and stressed
like a tiny pebble popped up, put a crack in my window
my Papa’s at Charlton, so I’m keepin’ it from my kinfolk
pills for the pain, bills pilin’ up
don’t get paid for another month, still won’t have enough
plus paranoia’s gettin’ the best of me
been 2 break-ins in my neighborhood since last week
and the rumor is – one of them ended in sexual assault
ain’t no runnin’ from it, makin’ me sick to my stomach
every time I leave my lady at home alone
havin’ visions of men breakin’ in…and you know
last night both of our cars were broken into
talkin’ to cops is the last thing that I want to do

CHORUS

VERSE III
finally got an alarm installed in the crib
and bought a Sig 9 and some hollow-points to keep by the bed
prayin’ to God I don’t ever have to pull the trigger,
but best believe I will if there’s ever an intruder
haven’t slept well lately – regardless of this
between teaching and the studio, I’m workin’ double-shifts
gotta maintain relationships with family and friends,
but when you’re runnin’ on fumes, you’ve got nothin’ left to give
my loved ones are sayin’ I should see a shrink – wait…
I don’t see the point in that when I can self-medicate
I vent through music to get it off my chest,
but I do realize that I’m blessed…
took a few wrong turns, but that’s how we learn
when you smell the oil burnin’, gotta refuel the furnace
It’s imperative that I restore positive habits
create art with love and watch it blossom into magic
I’ve whined in the past ‘bout the holes in my shoes
‘til I met a man with no feet, gotta lot more to lose
paid my dues – been through plenty
gone from a full tank to damn near on empty