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7 Songs For Our Supporters!

Tracks selected from various projects to give you a taste of Grades Of Absolute Truth.

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released July 4, 2006

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Copyright 2004-2013
Published 2014 (as a gift for supporters)

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G O A T (Grades Of Absolute Truth) Dallas

Grades Of Absolute Truth

Soulful Indie Rapper

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Track Name: Lead
LEAD

VERSE I
let me shoot it to you straight and I've said all of this before...before
I would hate to pull the trigger, but if harm is knockin' at my door...my door
an intruder breaks in, you dial 9-1-1
whatchu feel safer with - the telephone or a gun?
got kids in the house and a lady to protect
and it only takes a sec for a lunatic to flip
not comfortable with trustin' my family's fate
to how fast the police can respond to the case
betta pick up the pace, ain't just gonna sit here and wait
and just in case they get here too late

CHORUS
I sleep with a 9 underneath my pillow
got a 12 gauge under my bed,
so don't come in this house unannounced
or there might be lead flyin' at yo' head

VERSE II
in Texas, it's expected you have a weapon,
but if guns murder people, all of mine are defective
around these parts, as far as I can tell
the Castle Doctrine will stay alive and well
love to hit the range, bust off a few rounds
of course, it's a sport, but just in case it goes down
I need a place with 3 safes, a shed full of ammo,
closets filled with camo, on the edge of Midlo and
it's been expunged, so my record is clean
don't point your little judgmental fingers at me
ha...and if the zombie apocalypse comes,
I'm postin' up with my Pops and triple-tappin' for fun

CHORUS

BRIDGE
as wrong as it is, not a concern
break in my house, you get put in the dirt
God forbid they end up in a hearse
shoulda thought about that before crossin' the turf
deadly force is a last resort
what choice do I have if it's mine or your's
no price on how much a life is worth
think twice before you deny my words

I would hate to pull the trigger, but if harm is knockin' at my door...my door

CHORUS

OUTRO
in Texas, it's expected you have a weapon
let me shoot it to you straight and I've said all of this before
in Texas, it's expected you have a weapon
I would hate to pull the trigger, but if harm is knockin' at my door
Track Name: HearSay
HEARSAY

VERSE I
listen here, young buck, I'm here to tell you how it is
I've been in this biz for longer than a minute
and I am finished, dealin' with dirty linen
keep my clothes clean and keep a crease in my denim
skeletons in my closet cause it's better that way
never air your laundry out in the middle of the day
accusations leave stains, so don't even say
anything you wouldn't sign your name to, refrain from that

CHORUS
speak up, what's that? I can't hear you
if you ain't seen it for yourself, how you know it's true?
better be careful who you choose to believe
how 'bout you shut yo' mouth when you talkin' to me
speak up, what's that? I can't hear you
if you ain't seen it for yourself, how you know it's true?
better be careful who you choose to believe
how 'bout you shut yo' mouth when you talkin' to me

VERSE II
ya seem to know more about my life than I do
and please don't assume cause you ain't got a damn clue
and I'm through with the he said, she said this,
so you can say I said to kiss my kicks
just ignorance and non-sense pourin' outta both lips
like a leaky faucet - mouth drips bull-spit
full clip, tongue like a gun shootin' gossip
lack of general knowledge, inferiority complex

CHORUS

BRIDGE
speak up...
speak up...
speak up...
speak up...

CHORUS
Track Name: Cup In Hand
CUP IN HAND

VERSE I
chillin' on the rooftop, soakin' in the sun
sippin' on a beverage and it's quite a tasty one
grillin' up some chicken, I am fiendin' for some grub
forced relaxation 'cause my work is never done
Sunday Funday, wish I had a runway
all these fine ladies could be modeling one day
I heard girls are crazy, but I don't believe
well, I love 'em all the same and I wouldn't change a thing

CHORUS
got my cup in hand...what else do I need?
a lady by my side...in a neon bikini
ain't no sand in sight...the concrete is our beach
school's out, pool-side, throwin' all the rules out
sizzlin' in the summer heat...sippin' on some...

POST-CHORUS
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer

VERSE II
not always sippin' vodka, I'm an equal opportunist
never picky when it comes to alcoholic fluids
rum, whisky, bourbon, brandy, but I rarely do gin
love all colors, b-b-boy, where have you been?
...no discrimination, ya see?
light and dark liquors both taste gorgeous to me
and I admit me and Tequila had a few year fling,
but that was way before introduced to the whipped cream

CHORUS
got my cup in hand...what else do I need?
a lady by my side...in a neon bikini
ain't no sand in sight...the concrete is our beach
school's out, pool-side, throwin' all the rules out
sizzlin' in the summer heat...sippin' on some...

POST-CHORUS
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer

OUTRO CHORUS
got my cup in hand...whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
a lady by my side...whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
ain't no sand in sight...whipped cream vodka - OJ mixer
Track Name: Highest Low
HIGHEST LOW

VERSE I
you gotta face it…some folks highlight hatred
‘stead of steppin’ up the stairs, they stuck in the basement
hatin’, waitin’ for somebody to give their life a facelift
…knowin’ damn well that ain’t gone happen
they complain ‘bout how their little world was blackened
in reality…they’re the ones that lost the traction
on the road to success—blamin’ others for regrets
you gamblin’…and you the one that lost the bet
well it’s in your court…YOU dropped the ball
hell, you failed to pick it up so you destined to fall dog
and that ain’t me main—I’m fightin’ to breathe
the Lady of Death came for me twice, but I ain’t leave and
I’m here for a reason, I see sin and please Him
I will stand strong as long as I’m still breathin’
…grasp absolute truth through all seasons
no gain without pain, so stab me—I’m bleedin’


CHORUS
how low will you go…
to get as high as you can be?

VERSE II
I woke down, not up, which is usually the case
eyes open, already hustlin’, runnin’ life’s race
gotta do this, gotta do that cause life don’t stop
for you to catch up, with your luck, you do dirt, you get caught
watch…one thing after another, you’re smothered
death comes in threes…first your homie, now your grandmother
you’re guessin’ one more’s on the way—you strugglin’
hope for the best, but expect that the worst is comin’
karma’s catchin’ up with me…my past is resurfacing
and I must confess the stress is almost leaving me grieving
the next person that pushes me must be craving a beating
having visions of negativity—leaving them bleeding
still I take a deep breath, focus on the next step
keep my head to the sky and my eyes on the prize
and when I remember I gotta crib…and food in the fridge
I paint a smile on my face and continue to live—that’s real…

CHORUS
Track Name: Cleansed In Dirt (Double J Remix)
CLEANSED IN DIRT

CHORUS TEASER
trust me…I wanna be free,
but I haven’t…quite…figured out how to be
trust me…I wanna be free,
but I haven’t…quite…figured out how to be

VERSE I
I’ve tried…to see…the world the way you see it
there’s a big ball of guilt – there’s a big ball of guilt
but vertigo leaves my vision blurred and tainted
there’s a big ball of guilt built – there’s a big ball of guilt built
…I thrive on obsession – it is no secret
there’s a big ball of guilt built up – there’s a big ball of guilt built up
while my imbalance leaves my head full, but I’m still speechless
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in – there’s a big ball of guilt built up in
…these addictive manic episodes’ll be the death of me
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my – there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my
like a fiend I’m needing, like a fiend I’m needing, like a fiend I’m needing the needle of negativity
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my chest - there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my chest

VERSE II
I’ve tried to kill it with pills, I’ve tried to drown it by drinkin’
both of those routes failed, what the hell was a thinkin’
I’m an educated man – I know it hurts
when you try to flirt with the pain, but instead, you make it worse
main course was depression cleansed in dirt
hesitate for a second – have remorse for dessert
don’t forget about…that appetizer of guilt
that started this mess – a past filled with filth
and I’ve begged for forgiveness to diminish my sins
and I’ve pledged to have my blemishes be finished within,
but that don’t erase the places I know I have been
at the end of an amazing graceful race, I’ll find
myself there again, interrogating friends
with a pad and a pen and a bottle of gin,
which is my next of kin, taking it on the chin
knowing I can’t, but pretending I can win
I give in…I think they call that compromising
a trend in relationships – I call it lying
make-believing you’re happy with your life,
but inside…you’re on a steady decline
not too below the surface, you’re runnin’ behind
chasin’ truth like it’s an object that YOU have designed
in a mind-numbing project, your roots are alive
with Robert Johnson in the deck, the blues have revived
something that you love…from something that you hate
debate it all you want…I know that it’s fake
an illusion of a memory you didn’t enjoy
now that it’s in the past, you wanna play with it like a toy
never happy in the moment, but remembering it as perfect
the very thought of it…makes me shaky, anxious, and nervous
…the conclusion I’ve come to
it’s better to fake happiness than to try to resolve your issues
…so instead of being an actor with surprises,
…I’ve become a master of disguises
Fade Out…so instead of being an actor with surprises,
…I’ve become a master of disguises
…so instead of being an actor with surprises,
…I’ve become a master of disguises
…so instead of being an actor with surprises,
…I’ve become a master of disguises
…so instead of being an actor with surprises,
…I’ve become a master of disguises

CHORUS
there’s a deep dark part of me that’s been buried in a hole
Lord knows that I’ve tried to let it go
the more I try to repress, the more it tries to progress
the less attention I give it, the more it grows
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my chest
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my chest
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my chest
there’s a big ball of guilt built up in my chest
trust me…I wanna be free,
but I haven’t…quite…figured out how to be
there’s a deep dark part of me that’s been buried in a hole
Lord knows that I’ve tried to let it go
trust me…I wanna be free,
but I haven’t…quite…figured out how to be
the more I try to repress, the more it tries to progress
the less attention I give it, the more it grows
Track Name: Toxic Tears feat. Karla Chisholm
TOXIC TEARS

VERSE I
I promise my tears are toxic so don’t taste
there inflicted by the absence of society’s embrace
I’m sure I just emptied my trash yesterday
now it’s overflowin’ wit tissue, I wish you
would be here to clear fear, help me make it through this
all this pain would fade away with 1 kiss
your lips I cherish—please don’t blush, don’t be embarrassed
conformity—not an option, my pen has been my only friend

PRE-CHORUS
I don’t know why I can’t tell Hell from Heaven
when I look up in the sky and wonder why I can’t smell my reflection

VERSE II
invisible boundaries found me, I’m drowning within myself
so throw me a life preserver, I’m almost out of breath,
but to hell with it, I can’t quit it’s gotten a grip of me
I’m diligently, slowly drifting from reality
a fallacy—taking over closure blinding eyes
can’t see, but believe, I’ll be intellectually perceived
feelin’ red when things are green—there’s no yellow to ever warn me
YIELD 80 PROOF TRUTH is ruthlessly comin’
I’m runnin’, sprintin’, hittin’, never missin’—dead on
gotta pessimistic positive vibe intertwined in my dome
I’ve thrown too many things away, experienced pain and I know
it might be wrong, but I think it’s best to be left with less—life is so
overwhelming, hell will melt me—stress’ll be the death of me
compulsively obsessive, misplacin’ happiness’ recipe
worry is the darkroom, in which negatives can develop…
and my pain is exposed

CHORUS
as I step to the edge—I say and I pray
Lord, help me rise above this tide—I feel I can’t
oh, I feel I can’t…no…

VERSE III
I see you swimmin’ in my eyes—don’t drown
you’re divin’ into a pool of blue polluted by a golden crown
that surrounds the deepest, darkest part of me—PITCH BLACK
near is white laced with red, representing tears shed
inflicted by confusion, frustration, and fear
the same emotions approachin’ me daily, rarely cleared
prepared, a trait that I hold very dear,
but at the same time a trait that I can’t seem to grab
and I taste no salt, just intense flavors of Lavender
I’ve tripped into a hallway I didn’t mean to open up
all loss, nothing gained, tears drop, liquid pain
recycled silver tears get smeared into my soul
what we do in life echoes in eternity—I’ve heard,
but I ain’t feelin’ Bible revisions—interpretations inferred,
but I know a lotta kneelin’ keeps me in good standin’
I gotta have hope my Uncle Bill’s straight chillin’ in Heaven

CHORUS

PRE-CHORUS

CHORUS

OUTRO
the only thing stopping me is a thought of the past
I had a talk with my Mother when a straw had cracked my back
and…as she cried hysterically, she asked how I could be so selfish
suicide affects everyone that loves you—and that idea stayed with me
and she saved me, but still the thought pierces frequently,
but thank you Mother, I love you ‘til the end of my days…
…eh, eh…yall know time’s passin’—right? fast-like
we ain’t got no time to be negative and dwell in the dark
stayin’ busy helps me—
you just gotta push yourself to have fun every once in a while
Track Name: Damn Near On Empty (Sean P Remix)
DAMN NEAR ON EMPTY

VERSE I
I have a huge problem askin’ other people for help
so I end up tryin’ to take on everything by myself
feel like the world’s against me, hope it’s just in my head
grippin’ the rope of sanity, but hangin’ on by a thread
and if my body is a vehicle for my soul
feel like I can’t make the payments, ‘bout to be repoed
and my tires are worn, interior’s torn
so when my lease is up, I’m afraid that I’ll owe more
that I’m worth and it hurts, could be a curse
so I repel the hella negativity through verse
‘bout outta gas, but I can’t stop
cruisin’ in neutral with the A/C off
sweat’s pourin’ in this Texas heat – could be a flood
made need a pull if I get stuck in the mud
weavin’ in and out of life’s lanes, swervin’ at times
if I get pulled over, sure as hell ain’t walkin’ the line

CHORUS

VERSE II
I usually roll with the punches, but my inspection is out
my engine needs a tune-up, gotta take another route
feelin’ broke down, slowly coastin’ ‘round town
even catch myself complain’ – “your system’s too loud”
I should shut my mouth – feelin’ lost because
I sure as hell ain’t the man that I used to was
’08 was rough – it overflowed to ‘09
to my surprise, multiple medical problems arised
had a headache for 8 months, finally broke down
went to see the doc to get it checked out
probably from stress – maybe from anxiety
did a scan anyways to put my mind at ease
unexpectedly found a lesion on my lobe
referred me to a surgeon, nerves are about to explode
is it AIDS or a tumor – is it plaque from MS?
is it cancer…that’s spread from somewhere else?
MRIs, blood work, co-pays, and consultations
deductibles, yeah, losin’ patience as a patient
not to mention the spinal tap and its side effects
feelin’ like a pin cushion – depressed and stressed
like a tiny pebble popped up, put a crack in my window
my Papa’s at Charlton, so I’m keepin’ it from my kinfolk
pills for the pain, bills pilin’ up
don’t get paid for another month, still won’t have enough
plus paranoia’s gettin’ the best of me
been 2 break-ins in my neighborhood since last week
and the rumor is – one of them ended in sexual assault
ain’t no runnin’ from it, makin’ me sick to my stomach
every time I leave my lady at home alone
havin’ visions of men breakin’ in…and you know
last night both of our cars were broken into
talkin’ to cops is the last thing that I want to do

CHORUS

VERSE III
finally got an alarm installed in the crib
and bought a Sig 9 and some hollow-points to keep by the bed
prayin’ to God I don’t ever have to pull the trigger,
but best believe I will if there’s ever an intruder
haven’t slept well lately – regardless of this
between teaching and the studio, I’m workin’ double-shifts
gotta maintain relationships with family and friends,
but when you’re runnin’ on fumes, you’ve got nothin’ left to give
my loved ones are sayin’ I should see a shrink – wait…
I don’t see the point in that when I can self-medicate
I vent through music to get it off my chest,
but I do realize that I’m blessed…
took a few wrong turns, but that’s how we learn
when you smell the oil burnin’, gotta refuel the furnace
It’s imperative that I restore positive habits
create art with love and watch it blossom into magic
I’ve whined in the past ‘bout the holes in my shoes
‘til I met a man with no feet, gotta lot more to lose
paid my dues – been through plenty
gone from a full tank to damn near on empty